So, you might ask, what is Syl up to, now that she is not working? It's fascinating, really, the things I can do now that I didn't do before. And by fascinating, I mean interesting to those who have the time to read blogs. Which would not have been me. But is now.
1. Shop in actual stores! It's crazy. I can walk in and touch fabrics before I buy clothes, browse for deals, opportunistically buy things for the kitchen like replacement measuring cups because the handle broke off our existing one.
2. Return things to stores! This is the really crazy one. Yes, a working mom might make it occasionally into a retail establishment as a 20 minute escape on Sunday, but NEVER would she make it back into a real store to return things that don't fit or are not liked. NEVER. Now I do!
3. Shop at IKEA. Let's face it, this is like a full day commitment, and there is no possible way that I would have entered IKEA, especially without a husband to drag me out when my brain became addled by all the choices. Now, however, I resign myself to making it a 2 or 3 trip process, preceded by some online research, and expecting that I'll go back to return things and get others (again with the returning thing!).
4. Mill around TJ Maxx. At some point, about a month in, I was semi-guiltily justifying my second trip to TJ Maxx, which did not have any inherent purpose other than entertainment, and Bob said, "Honey! You're doing that thing that all girls do, that you never had time for! Shopping at TJ Maxx! It's a milestone for you!" Indeed. Oh, and I also return things.
5. Fix the annoying problems with the house. You know, like broken garage door opener keypads that function, but whose covers got snapped off, and just look manky and broken now. And not just order it on Amazon -- I paired it and installed it! Ha!
6. Pay bills. Shocking, yes, most bills are on autopay, but the ones that are not usually resulted in collections calls because we would never make the 60 minutes of time to wade through the bills and sift out the ones that needed attention, rather than being hard copies of things we already knew or legally required documentation of changes to financial policies for 401k funds. Now I pay bills!
7. Register cars on time. Another beurocratic task that I avoided before. My car was late in renewing, costing an extra $170, and I uncovered a problem in the VIN number with insurance that needed fixing to get legal again. And I did this with actual phone calls and live DMV appointments. A total impossibility in my previous life. Also highly annoying, and on those weeks I deal with car stuff, I have to suspend all other beurocratic chores or I implode with irritation.
8. Exercise every day, like for real. Yes, I ran the majority of days at lunch at work, but now I am doing super mega exercise at Orange Theory every day for 60 minutes. It's the best!
9. Stay patient as family members struggle. This is a pretty big one. Since I am way less stressed than before, I have more to give to the family. I don't get impatient with the kids or Bob as quickly. I can listen without anxiety or distraction to Bob's work talk. I can direct the kids constructively without resorting to yelling. It's pretty cool! But I don't want to sound angelic, I do sometimes get really mad still. Just over bigger things, instead of little things.
10. Routinely neaten the house. I actually enjoy this, it's soothing and satisfying now that I have time to do it. After exercise, I make all the beds, do laundry (that part is still super boring and lame) and clean up the kitchen and living room. I realized that I have a very hard time. With visual chaos -- so when the house is messy, it's like a giant to-do list screaming at me louder than anything else, and I can't focus until there is order again. That is a recipe for disaster while working, because there is so little time and I would get cranky and resentful trying to make things orderly. Now it's a soothing ritual.
11. Volunteer at school one day a week. My real mission is to spy at recess, but the school needs adult supervision and so I show up on Thursdays. I bring Dexter a special lunch those days too -- I figure I'll spoil him like the children of other stay at home moms are spoiled for the time that I'm home too. And now I know how their social groups work! I can tell you about the different groups and patterns if you are interested. I'm sure you're not.
12. Run into friends. I'm fairly introverted, but my new simplified life gives me to serendipitously see people around town and get to know them better. It's easier and less stressful than scheduling coffee or lunch. And it makes me feel connected to this place a bit more.
13. Do projects that we couldn't get to before. Like, installing shelves, and taking old books to donate at the library, and installing a new pantry in the coat closet upstairs. And getting a trust made, and planning ahead for taxes, and meeting with our financial planner like we're supposed to.
14. Read the news. I never did this before! I'm getting better informed on politics, which is a good idea right now.
15. Figure out how to solve challenges with the kids. I can be less reactive, more proactive now that I have energy at the end of the day, and that patience I was telling you about. Reward systems and homework monitoring and things like that-- I now have the energy for. Not that things are running perfectly. But at least I can work on them.
16. Last, I can make dinner! Assemble dinner, not cook it, but I'm getting really good at assembling healthy dinners that are ready earlier in the day. I can even cook ahead, so when we get home at 7:30 from baseball, we can eat good food! And I tried a vegan meal service, where they send you ingredients and recipes. It was fun for two weeks. But cooking is really not a pursuit that I'm going to work on any harder than I am now. It's not fun. It's like laundry. Necessary but undesirable.
17. GO PLACES! I'm really living it up, taking vacations and trips, now that I don't have work to get in the way. Well, except financially. We are going camping next weekend, rafting on Memorial Day, and driving to the Grand Canyon for a week with Memere and Pepere in June. Woohoo!
Is it the super best ever? Kinda. But to be fair, I have a nagging sense of, "What next?" Whenever I hold still. And I miss creating systems and making things successful like I got to do at work. But for this week, I'm staying the course.
1. Shop in actual stores! It's crazy. I can walk in and touch fabrics before I buy clothes, browse for deals, opportunistically buy things for the kitchen like replacement measuring cups because the handle broke off our existing one.
2. Return things to stores! This is the really crazy one. Yes, a working mom might make it occasionally into a retail establishment as a 20 minute escape on Sunday, but NEVER would she make it back into a real store to return things that don't fit or are not liked. NEVER. Now I do!
3. Shop at IKEA. Let's face it, this is like a full day commitment, and there is no possible way that I would have entered IKEA, especially without a husband to drag me out when my brain became addled by all the choices. Now, however, I resign myself to making it a 2 or 3 trip process, preceded by some online research, and expecting that I'll go back to return things and get others (again with the returning thing!).
4. Mill around TJ Maxx. At some point, about a month in, I was semi-guiltily justifying my second trip to TJ Maxx, which did not have any inherent purpose other than entertainment, and Bob said, "Honey! You're doing that thing that all girls do, that you never had time for! Shopping at TJ Maxx! It's a milestone for you!" Indeed. Oh, and I also return things.
5. Fix the annoying problems with the house. You know, like broken garage door opener keypads that function, but whose covers got snapped off, and just look manky and broken now. And not just order it on Amazon -- I paired it and installed it! Ha!
6. Pay bills. Shocking, yes, most bills are on autopay, but the ones that are not usually resulted in collections calls because we would never make the 60 minutes of time to wade through the bills and sift out the ones that needed attention, rather than being hard copies of things we already knew or legally required documentation of changes to financial policies for 401k funds. Now I pay bills!
7. Register cars on time. Another beurocratic task that I avoided before. My car was late in renewing, costing an extra $170, and I uncovered a problem in the VIN number with insurance that needed fixing to get legal again. And I did this with actual phone calls and live DMV appointments. A total impossibility in my previous life. Also highly annoying, and on those weeks I deal with car stuff, I have to suspend all other beurocratic chores or I implode with irritation.
8. Exercise every day, like for real. Yes, I ran the majority of days at lunch at work, but now I am doing super mega exercise at Orange Theory every day for 60 minutes. It's the best!
9. Stay patient as family members struggle. This is a pretty big one. Since I am way less stressed than before, I have more to give to the family. I don't get impatient with the kids or Bob as quickly. I can listen without anxiety or distraction to Bob's work talk. I can direct the kids constructively without resorting to yelling. It's pretty cool! But I don't want to sound angelic, I do sometimes get really mad still. Just over bigger things, instead of little things.
10. Routinely neaten the house. I actually enjoy this, it's soothing and satisfying now that I have time to do it. After exercise, I make all the beds, do laundry (that part is still super boring and lame) and clean up the kitchen and living room. I realized that I have a very hard time. With visual chaos -- so when the house is messy, it's like a giant to-do list screaming at me louder than anything else, and I can't focus until there is order again. That is a recipe for disaster while working, because there is so little time and I would get cranky and resentful trying to make things orderly. Now it's a soothing ritual.
11. Volunteer at school one day a week. My real mission is to spy at recess, but the school needs adult supervision and so I show up on Thursdays. I bring Dexter a special lunch those days too -- I figure I'll spoil him like the children of other stay at home moms are spoiled for the time that I'm home too. And now I know how their social groups work! I can tell you about the different groups and patterns if you are interested. I'm sure you're not.
12. Run into friends. I'm fairly introverted, but my new simplified life gives me to serendipitously see people around town and get to know them better. It's easier and less stressful than scheduling coffee or lunch. And it makes me feel connected to this place a bit more.
13. Do projects that we couldn't get to before. Like, installing shelves, and taking old books to donate at the library, and installing a new pantry in the coat closet upstairs. And getting a trust made, and planning ahead for taxes, and meeting with our financial planner like we're supposed to.
14. Read the news. I never did this before! I'm getting better informed on politics, which is a good idea right now.
15. Figure out how to solve challenges with the kids. I can be less reactive, more proactive now that I have energy at the end of the day, and that patience I was telling you about. Reward systems and homework monitoring and things like that-- I now have the energy for. Not that things are running perfectly. But at least I can work on them.
16. Last, I can make dinner! Assemble dinner, not cook it, but I'm getting really good at assembling healthy dinners that are ready earlier in the day. I can even cook ahead, so when we get home at 7:30 from baseball, we can eat good food! And I tried a vegan meal service, where they send you ingredients and recipes. It was fun for two weeks. But cooking is really not a pursuit that I'm going to work on any harder than I am now. It's not fun. It's like laundry. Necessary but undesirable.
17. GO PLACES! I'm really living it up, taking vacations and trips, now that I don't have work to get in the way. Well, except financially. We are going camping next weekend, rafting on Memorial Day, and driving to the Grand Canyon for a week with Memere and Pepere in June. Woohoo!
Is it the super best ever? Kinda. But to be fair, I have a nagging sense of, "What next?" Whenever I hold still. And I miss creating systems and making things successful like I got to do at work. But for this week, I'm staying the course.
